i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize