The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
