umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
