dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
