I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
