Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
