you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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