Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
