I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
her vagine was all disorganized.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
