Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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