It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
