We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
