ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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