I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
