i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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