Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
