I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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