i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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