he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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