I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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