the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
