Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
