I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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