I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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