I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
