hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
