oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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