Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
