Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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