Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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