where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
