Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
