she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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