Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
