just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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