Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize