Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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