i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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