Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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