Im at strip club and am horny
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
this just has baby written all over it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Randomize
