My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
