I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
