I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
