I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
