Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize