he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
