If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
farters have to be the big spoon...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
