i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
