are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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