There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Define "chronic" masturbator.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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