just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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