It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize