We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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