If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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