Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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