just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
