if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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