Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
