I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize