Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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